It's easy to throw things out of proportion by comparing ourselves to the accomplishments of others. Yes, there are instances where strategic comparison can spark motivation and action, but in most situations (in life and work), comparing ourselves to others does more harm than good. Here's the deal: The moment we choose to play the comparison game we're entering a losing game. Why? Because we're establishing a fragile benchmark.
Fragile benchmarks are motivated by superficial ideas like money, reputation, and power. They're fragile because they have very little substance. Even when we do achieve them, we're left unsatisfied and seeking more. And so we end up on this vicious cycle, going round and round accumulating "stuff" that give us short-term gratification but fail to fill us with meaning.
Benchmarks without substance are unreliable and not worth pursuing.
The type of benchmarks that push the needle of our work, relationships, and projects forward are those grown out of a deep desire for change and impact. The best benchmarks help us grow and do work we can be proud of because they're in line with the things that matter most to us -- our values, health, personal and professional development, and relationships.
Below are some questions I've been pondering in preparation for the new year. With so many projects on tap, it's been helpful to dig a little deeper and understand my true motives behind the things I want to accomplish. I hope you find some of these questions helpful as you reflect and set your benchmarks for this new year.
- What's this benchmark for?
- Meets a superficial need (little substance) vs will help create a positive impact (long term success and meaning)
- How does this benchmark line up with my values?
- On a scale 0 - 10 (0 = Poor alignment, 10 = Extremely Aligned)
- How will this benchmark support (or hinder) other areas of life that are important to me?